Now that we’re a few weeks into February, I feel like I can revisit the themes I’ve chosen for 2019 and see what they’re doing for me! I absolutely have specific goals I’m looking to hit this year, but I like choosing an overarching theme that kind of acts as my north star, rather than using the goals alone to guide me. This year, those themes I chose were “intuition and adventure.” So far, what i can say is…. I'm working on it! I've been really trying to let go of control and just focus on my craft. I know that if I get all my ducks in a row, establish strong habits and focus on myself… the work will take care of itself. I've noticed an uptick in inquiries based on my documentary style images I'm sharing so that's a plus! I'm trying to share based on intuition, which isn’t always easy because of the NEED to post. In terms of Instagram, there’s been a major bot cleanse going on and I’ve done some cleansing of my own, unfollowing accounts that no longer serve me. Since the follow-unfollow method is a real thing, a lot of followers that I’ve unfollowed have since unfollowed me. That’s totally okay - that just means they weren’t the right people to be talking to in the first place! If they are genuinely interested in what I have to share, they’ll stick around.
One specific example of intuition was canceling the part of our Idaho trip where we came back through Vegas so I could see Seven Magic Mountains. (The backstory on this if you haven’t heard: I am now the proud new owner of a 2019 Jeep Wrangler!) On the way up to Idaho to pick up our Jeep, Krisz and I talked a lot about why I wanted to go to this spot. Turns out, I wanted to go because it was pretty. But the more we talked about it, the more I realized I didn’t know much about it. What message was the creator trying to send? What was the purpose of painting the rocks and stacking them in unnatural arrangements? Does this type of activity make it more okay for others to deface nature, rearrange rocks, and color them however they please? After that discussion, I realized that making a trip out there would not be aligned to my greater values. Regardless of the artists’ intention, I do believe that popularizing it may have greater consequences down the road. Nature is pretty dang beautiful as is, and trying to alter it can have devastating effects on ecosystem. I fully believe there are ways to enjoy and experience the world around us while minimizing our impact and respecting it.
There have also been a ton of experiences of not listening to my intuition, but I’m hoping that simply by paying more attention to it, I’ll be able to better tune into that wavelength eventually.
The Idaho trip was also a great example of adventure! On Thursday, we spoke to Kent, our contact at the dealership our Jeep would be delivered to. He said there was basically no chance we’d be getting the Jeep that weekend. Friday morning though, we woke up to a photo of it being delivered! We immediately scrapped our plans, packed our bags and grabbed a rental car. Around 10:30 p.m. we left LA and drove through the night to Idaho! We arrived around 2 p.m. the next day in Boise to drop off the rental. It probably would have taken less time, but we brought Lucy and every time we stopped for gas we had to play for an hour or two to keep her happy! It was well worth it. We went to the dealership, signed papers and stayed the night in Boise. The next morning (my birthday!) we headed back to LA in our brand new car. Although I’ve struggled deeply with self worth surrounding this car, I’m so so happy Little Red is mine! I realized that I’ve only ever seen people who work traditional jobs purchase cars they really want, and that subconsciously I must be feeling undeserving because my work is so unconventional. It was a revelation and I’m so glad I experienced it so that I can be aware of those thought patterns moving forward and genuinely enjoy my new car. I’ve named it Little Red because my Papa (who I was very close with growing up) had a huge red truck named Big Red. It’s such a simple way to honor my Papa and share my heart with him since he is no longer here.
Adventure is so much more than a spot on a road map. It’s a mindset full of optimism and challenge and drive. I know there are lots of adventures awaiting this year and I can wait to see where they take me!